I am tired. Job hunting really is a full-time job in itself filled with depression, anxiety, rejection day in and day out.
They say the best way to get a new position is to network. But what if people in your network say things like sure I'll let you know if you hear anything, good luck or take care? Take care. That to me is a kiss-off so to speak. It is the same as saying I know you need help but I'm not going to be the one to help you.
Makes me sad because while that is being typed out the thought in their mind is probably I'll keep an ear out and let them know. But the words say differently, they say HA, you are a blip in my life and I won't give you a second thought even if I hear something.
I know I am not the only one having these thoughts while out of work, searching for the next opportunity knowing the salary goal can be an issue but the skills that come along are more than worth it.
Hoping things change soon. I don't like not working, not contributing to the world in any small way and feeling lost.
It seems I'm back here in the same spot I was in last year questioning where to go and what to do. I promise myself I'd write more, go out more with friends just do more for me. As life gets busier and busier it seems I do less and less for me and just barely enough to keep my head above water. Life is busy, crazy and hectic this time of year. Not enough hours in the day, always tired...
Another draft but this one from earlier this month, seems like not much has changed in theme from one year to the next. Maybe it's time I start exploring what makes me happy in relation to my career. I recently watched a Christmas movie that was about the 2,000th take on Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol", this was a Hallmark movie called "It's Christmas, Carol". Great take on the classic actually, my point is, the one line that stuck with me the most is Work to Live, Don't Live to Work. I should enjoy what I'm doing not just going through the motions to make sure my bills are paid. Why can't I love what I do and pay my bills? I think that might be the question of the century and one I'll explore if the world doesn't end on Friday as the Mayan's seem to think it will.
This has been one busy, crazy, hectic year. 2011 has definitely been better than 2010. I've had my challenges, storms in August still trying to get the house together in December but overall a good year. We've settled in a bit more into our home. My daughter is a Sophomore in HS, talking about colleges, what she wants to do with her life and what I want to do with mine.
Yes, what to do with my life. My daughter will be off to college in a few years and I will still be young enough to do what I want and have a great time doing it. First things first though...
I have a job that I thought could be a career but it turns out that it is nothing more than a job. There is really no room for advancement - not really unless I want to be an outside salesperson, I've been there over 4 years and not one raise, not even a cost of living increase, really depressing. If I completely let it get to me then I would truly be depressed, confined to a bed, on medication and not living life. It might be time to move on and that might also depress me a bit. I've come to love most of the people I work with and have developed great relationships with them. But I come first! Relationships can be maintained.
Just found this old draft, it's a year later and sad new is I do still feel the same way in year 5 with this company. Not sure why I am always anxious and antsy after a few years with one company but it has been a constant in my working life. I think if I sit here & analyze too much I'll talk myself into moving on before it's really time. As with everything in my life, it all happens for a reason. When the time is right I will feel it.
Checking out some other drafts while I'm here. :)
